Hunter

- Dido

I must admit that i'm slightly inspired by Karuna's blog, as much as I have been banned against revealing its existence, I find a weird sort of solace and reassurance in what she writes and has written over the years.
Maybe life's phases and lessons are still the same for each individual, although the experience may be different, but the underlying intentions that life as an individual entity has when it puts us through what it does, are perhaps the same.

Its funny, the way life leaves you single when in a crowd and then just a while later, just 1 person, a few people, become your crowd, your people, your defense against solitude. And you move through life with your crowd, like they're you're raft in a white water rafting patch. With all its rapids and calms, with moments when you find thrill in not knowing where you'll be a second later to times when you see hours, miles and years of what lies ahead of you...

And then again there's a rapid, you come out of it, suddenly unknown to your own self. Not knowing who you are or where you are headed. Suddenly being surrounded by people you know... but thats just it.

You're alone, in your own territory. The king of your castle suddenly feels like a door mouse and you're just about lucky to feel that way, because exploring is always more fun without the crown!

"Cos this queen you think you own, wants to be a hunter again.. wants to see the world alone again, to take a chance on life again...."

Suddenly in a new patch, calm enough, just about to let you figure out where you are, but not long enough for you to know where you're going. Long enough to tell you who you're with, hardly about why, how each person is?
You know its a phase this time around. Experience in rafting teaches you that. Best friends are never Permanent, no one honestly is.. not even you....
You hold on none the less, to a faint illusion - accepting the change, the growing apart, the memories and then the security that thats not going away anywhere. And that in the end, they're your comfort cushion, you know they'll soften your fall or maybe, just let it hit hard enough!

All over again, one phase to another and then yet another the cycle continues, unraveling each page, slowly and steadily to what we know as life... More coming together and that much more falling apart, equal amount of memories and more change...

Finally at a point when i'm numb to it. Having lost friends i never thought i'd lose, or drift away from to keeping friends that i never thought would stick around, its just more mysteries i prepare myself for. Deep down, holding on to one ground rule. Nothing is permanent - Not even ME. So when i'm Alone - Its not for long and then also, when its crowded - it'll be over soon enough :)