She got to his house by 7 something in the evening. His house was empty and she managed to figure a way of staying out without objection or awkward questions.

He was in his dimly lit room with the bedside lamp, a book in his hand and a beer on the side table (the fact that she noticed a coaster under it gave her goosebumps... the good kind). He looked at her and put his book aside and sat up straight to...lets just say, acknowledge her presence. She went over to the little pouffee on the other side of the bed to leave her stuff and then plonked herself on the bed as well.

For a while they made small talk, his day, her day, his book, her books (texts) and people in general. Then they decided on a movie which he put on, on the cool wall mount plasma TV across his bed. They made arrangements for the requisite muchies, alcohol (in this case, a bottle of white wine) and made the ac super cold so they needed a blanket. There was strategically just one big blanket used.

The movie started, and while he seemed to watch it rather intently, she thought about them in that moment and how almost perfect it was. Except it was not, because they were not together. It was a decision they had made so to speak for a gammot of reasons that in this moment made no sense to her whatsoever.

He noticed how she had suddenly become so dreamy eyed and knew she hadn't the smallest idea of what the movie was about. He knew what she was thinking. He moved closer to her and leaned over and kissed her shoulder while his hands moved up her hands and to her waist. He kissed further up, on her neck, and then got into a more comfortable position to do what they were about to do next, not before he switched the TV off and put on music instead (god bless remote control).

He had this way around her, that no one else had. It varied directly to the quantity of alcohol he had. He was unpredictable and could make her go weak in the knees with simple things like a kiss on the forehead, or smelling her shoulder asking her what fragrance she was wearing or pulling her close to him with just the right quantity of strength, or just the most non chalant witty reference to a movie they had watched together.

On this particular day, he was doing the equivalent of all of this combined and maybe adding some other new things he had decided to try while he was away. She had moves too now as opposed to passively letting him do his thing. This took him by surprise... very pleasantly so.

After a decently long session of mouth to mouth or mouth to skin, they broke apart for a wine break. He sat on the bed with his legs straight and she rested on his bare chest. He held her by the arm that he wasnt using to hold the wine. She used her free and to hold his. And there was silence

"Are you okay with all of this" ,He unexpectedly asked her, breaking their divine silence.

"No" , She replied, being blatantly honest. " And you?"

"Well, I thought I would be...."

"But"

"I'm not either."

This to her was strangely reassuring although she didn't know what to say post this point and greatly dreaded the outcome of whatever conversation was to follow next. She loved their silence.

" So, what then", she was obliged to ask, since he brought up the conversation.

"You know as much as I do, which is collectively the size of a really really small peanut." They Giggled.

He kissed the back of her neck and rested his head on her shoulder for a while. His grip of her tightend, almost like he was scared she might go away. She welcomed it and pressed her hand, that held his, harder. The sacred silence was back.

Soon it was time for her to leave. She unscrambled from the bed and did her hair and other such things as gather her belongings etc. He put on his shirt, but left it half unbuttoned. At the door, she leaned over to give him a non chalant hug. Trying to be pricey and hoping he'd notice. He did. Just as she was about to leave he grabed her and pressed her closer to him.

" I don't think I'll like life much without you in it...", He said, extremely casually.

" I don't think I will either " She hoped she sounded an atom sized degree of his casual tone.

With this he kissed her nose and let her go. She kissed his cheek and left... pulling the door behind her.